The Denial of Complicity

The Denial of Complicity
mary1826 / Pixabay

According to, complicity is the act of helping to commit a crime or do wrong in some way.  This is an interesting definition that prompts me to look at the different ways it can be applied and how people twist circumstances to support their denial of complicity.

Traditional Catholic Wedding Vows

Traditional Catholic wedding vows mention for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.  The divorce rate reveals many don’t abide by these words commonly used in wedding vows.  These vows simply mean you and your husband or wife are willing to be together no matter what. Even if your spouse committed a crime, you stand beside and support your spouse.  If this crime was against you or a loved one, you remain faithful to your vows.  Upholding your vows comes with a price. Are these costs worth it?  I guess they are if you can sleep at night knowing your spouse abuses you behind closed doors or molests a family member or commits other unspeakable acts.

When you support someone, who you suspect or know is doing something wrong and don’t speak up, you’re complicit in their wrongdoing. You’re letting that person know that you support them no matter what. This gives this person the strength to continue their wrongdoing knowing you won’t speak up. It enables them to continue being despicable. You’re an unwavering supporter and a member of their unofficial fan club.

The Denial of Complicity

Hiding Behind Political Affiliations

To my dismay, America is experiencing an extremely divisive period of time. Democrats vs Republicans, black vs white, citizens vs non-citizens, rich vs poor, popular vs unpopular, healthy vs sick, attractive vs non-attractive, pro-police vs anti-police, and many other varying groups of opinions.

What happened to common decency?  What happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?

In 2017, respect is sometimes given to those who don’t deserve it.  Some people are taking their hatred for others to another level and hiding behind politics.  Blaming politics for your shortcomings is something you and your God or therapist need to discuss.

Each person, who opens their mouth to disparage another’s character need to look in the mirror.  Showing respect for your fellow man should be a given. Especially, if this person isn’t disparaging your character or causing harm to you.

Witnessing someone disparage another’s character and joining in is participating in bullying.  Social media is full of many people typing on keyboards assassinating other’s characters and hiding behind political affiliations.  When these people type these hateful words, their adrenaline is in overdrive. It’s thrilling for them.  They experience a rush that makes them feel they’re a part of something great.

Unfortunately for them, they’re not part of something great. They’re part of something that is slowly destroying America. They’re a part of the anonymous haters and not so anonymous haters, who thrive on spreading hate and potentially destroying lives.  Little do they realize that if their words were turned on them, it wouldn’t be a great feeling. However, they’re not concerned with this.  They feel immune to being ridiculed and are in denial of complicity.

Boasting, bragging, and looking down on others is wrong.  People try to justify their actions through stereotyping and false assumptions. Every Democrat isn’t the same. Every Republican isn’t the same. Even identical twins don’t always think the same.

The Denial of Complicity
geralt / Pixabay


No one wants to be analyzed, be wrong, or held accountable for questionable actions.  However, there comes a time when one has to self-assess.

Where are you in life?  What do you like about yourself?  What do you believe in?  How do you live? What are your goals?  Who are your friends? How do you want others to see you?  What are your regrets, if any?

Self-assessment is a stressful undertaking for some.  I performed a self-assessment, looking at all aspects of my life.  Some were very painful, but beneficial for me to see where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I would like to be.

There were times, I was complicit in thought processes that were wrong.  I took on beliefs of others that I didn’t realize were warped at that time. When I learned better, I thought better and felt better about myself.

Being able to look in the mirror and love the reflection is a wonderful feeling.  Making objective decisions is the right thing to do.  Every situation is different just as every person is different.  Being judgmental and hurtful does not give you a high ranking in the eyes of others.  Of course, some may say, I don’t care what people think of me.

To a certain extent, this is true, however, what if you were accused of a crime you didn’t commit?  When the detectives contacted your relatives, friends, co-workers, or neighbors, what would they say to the detectives?  In this instance, it would matter what others thought of you.  Their words could affect your freedom.  Hopefully, they’d be speaking honestly and you’ve been living honestly.  And if you haven’t been living honestly, you’ll most likely have problems with the legal system.

In Conclusion

It’s important to have confidence in yourself to represent your true feelings. If you don’t agree with other’s wrong actions, it would be better to let them know and limit your time around them.  Making excuses for others’ actions is being complicit in their actions.

You can’t force a person to change their thinking, but you can control your own thinking.  Operate your life and accept responsibility for your actions.

Just think, if everyone thought before they spoke, respected other’s differences, and embraced America as a melting pot, all the stereotypes, bullying, and hatred would cease in time.