Do you remember the first time you found out you created your child? Were you jubilant at the prospect of bringing another human being into the world?
Did you often wonder how your little one would look upon arrival? If you thought any of these things, you were a happy expectant parent.
Months later, your bundle of joy arrived. The years passed by. Then, the day you become irrelevant to your child happened. It’s a day you’ll never forget. As a parent, I don’t wish this on anyone. However, it happens. I know because I’ve experienced it.
Being Irrelevant to Your Child
You know there’s an age gap. Not to mention a generation disconnect. However, you’ve prepared yourself to connect with your child. You may have read parenting books. Or perhaps, you’ve mined information from your parents or other parents, who you respect. Despite everything, you felt you did everything you thought was correct. Then, you experienced the mental anguish of wondering why your child doesn’t respect your relevance to your child’s life.
How could your child not consider you relevant? Aren’t you the one who was there from the beginning? Did you buy your child’s preferred toys and foods? When you look back at all the times you felt the joy your child gave you, it makes you sick at the thought of being irrelevant to your child. However, it’s no longer a thought. It’s a reality you must deal with and try to resolve.
How Did it Happen?
Do you remember the day it first happened? Was it after a fabulous birthday party you threw your child? Or, was it when you asked your child to do something then your child refused to do it? Maybe, it happened when your child gained perspective on a situation or a thought. No matter the when or what, it happened.
Now, you’re wondering how it happened. Well, it happened because it’s one of those side effects of child development. Your child had to develop from an embryo to a fetus and then a baby. After your baby was born, your baby started down the path of life. Once your child hit the toddler years, there wasn’t a way to stop the progress. Your child had to grow and experience life.
Education from you and your child’s environment molded your child. Whether you homeschooled your child or sent your child to a private or public school, your child observed and consumed what was seen. What your child received from those experiences is what caused your child to determine your relevance in your child’s life.
Where Do You Go After This Happened?
Despite the pain, you must strive to salvage your relationship with your child. This may involve you providing your child with the freedom to explore the world without your interference. It doesn’t mean you give up on your child. You’re going to keep the door of your heart open for your child hoping that your child will walk back into your life.
Sometimes, no matter how many times you warn a person, the person chooses the less desired option. Some people have to learn their lessons the hard way. As painful as it is to watch, it happens. So, buckle up for the ride.