Blog

Updated 7/22/2022.

The Illusion

Domestic Gun Violence is rising.  This happens when Domestic Violence involves a gun.  It is worse than random gun violence.  Normally, people view their homes as safe.  For years, Law Enforcement and people treated Domestic Violence as a “private matter”.   Some people knew something was going on but chose not to become involved.

Many families have a public image and a private reality which do not mirror each other.  No one wants to reveal their dirty laundry to the world.  This is why we have washers and dryers.  Because in this world, presentation is everything.

Life is less complicated when you dress up nicely and blend in with others.  When you are among others, you are the epitome of respectfulness.  Who would ever accuse you of wrongdoing?  Your neighbors see a well-manicured lawn and a beautiful house.  You have a gorgeous wife and two well-behaved children.  You’re representative of the American dream.

You do not have a criminal record and are a pillar of society.  No one thinks twice when you apply for a gun permit and become a gun owner.  You’re a responsible family man or woman desiring to protect your family and home.  According to the 2nd Amendment, this is your right and you’re exercising your right.

Gun Laws and Domestic Gun Violence

Restricting gun ownership to those who’ve committed a crime is a good practice.  Taking away guns from those accused of domestic violence is a great idea.  Keeping guns away from those with mental issues seems like a sensible thing to do as well.  However, what do you do with the undiagnosed, law-abiding, person who pretends to be a good person but has an unchecked emotional problem?

No gun law covers this type of person.  What would the drafted bill state?  Would it require psychological testing?  Thus, igniting backlash, resulting in tons of lawsuits filed and increased court congestion.  Additionally, let’s not forget about the call for easy gun acquisition without excessive requirements and paperwork.

Hidden Emotional Issues

Some of us have deep-seated emotional issues.  These individuals can turn it on and off, similar to a functioning alcoholic.

Only their close family members know their ills.  Somewhere in their development, they experienced some awful things.  This impacted the way they deal with others.  Consequently, they mimicked normal individuals and set off no red flags.

Rising Tempers

Unchecked emotional problems lead to tense relationships.  The smallest thing results in a rising temper.  Consequently, adding a gun to the mix is a recipe for disaster.  At first, the gun is used to threaten.  Then, the gun is used as a mechanism of control.

Living in Fear

Fear is a powerful feeling.  Sometimes, thinking about something feels almost as real as the experience.  Anxiety causes stress.  Horrible thoughts consume the mind.  Helplessness is the reality while escape seems to be a dream.

The Act

Behind closed doors, life is a ticking time bomb for the abused.  Then, it happens.  The abuser snaps for an unknown reason.  Despite the pleading, the gun goes off, resulting in more bodies to add to the Statistics.

The Aftermath of Domestic Gun Violence

Here comes the Crime Scene tape and the CSI.  Reporters flood the scene.  Neighbors and friends are saddened. The community rallies around the victims.  They hold vigils and ask for gun reform while demanding government accountability.

How many times must Domestic Gun Violence happen?  Why must lives continually be lost?  When will things change?  Most of all, the restoral of hope is needed in preserving the life of mankind.

Warning Signs

Despite the abuser blending in, in hindsight there were warning signs. Sometimes, an abuser possesses identifiable traits, such as controlling and isolating behavior.

In addition, there are other warning signs which include:

• Intimidation using looks, actions, and gestures.
• Emotional Abuse by name-calling, humiliation, and mind games.
• Servant treatment.
• Controlling the money by limiting access to money.
• Threatening to do illegal things or reporting the victim to the authorities.
• Using the children as a pawn.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, help is available.

Also, check out these other resources to steer you or someone you know for assistance:

• Domestic Abuse Resource Guide
• International Domestic Violence Resource Guide
• A Guide to Domestic Violence and Getting Help
• Tech Safety For Victims And Survivors Of Domestic Violence
• Resources for Nursing Home Abuse

COVID-19

Some domestic violence victims have the luxury of leaving the house to go to work, take the children to school, or run errands. However, there are others who don’t.

When the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak forced countries, cities, municipalities, and businesses to shut down, this put the victims’ lives in further danger. The abuser, who usually left the house to go to work is now at home. With a potential loss in income and expanded interaction with the victim, tempers escalate and abuse is bound to follow.

During the lockdown, some countries reported an increase in domestic violence. The alarming statistics further support the need for gun control.

In Conclusion

When witnessing someone being publicly berated by their significant other or spouse, you must take note of it. Find a way to reach out or get help for the abused. While being cautious, put yourself in their shoes and think about your reactions to such treatment. Also, your words or actions could save a life or lives. Remember, not everyone is strong and needs someone to care for them.

In the US, Gun laws vary from state to state. Tougher gun laws will help the violence to a certain extent. However, it won’t deter a motivated, angry, and vengeful person. Furthermore, a person like this knows how to work the system to acquire a gun.