You’ve met this wonderful person who embodies your dreams. Was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time?
Anticipation is high. You’re ready to make it official. Besides, you only have one life to live and you want to live it to the fullest. So, the marriage thing floats around in your head. It consumes you.
Now, you’re thinking about getting married. Should you?
Before you do, try answering the following questions. If you can answer them truthfully, then you’re most likely ready to marry the love of your life.
1. How Was Your Childhood?
Did you come from a two-parent household? Or, did you grow up in a single-parent household? Maybe, you grew up in a foster home or several foster homes. What do you feel about your childhood? Is there anything you would’ve wanted to be different?
2. What Are Your Personality Traits?
Are you extroverted or introverted? They say opposites attract. However, sometimes, the differences you set aside, rear their ugly head at some inopportune time.
3. How Do You View Money and Status?
Is living like the elite important to you? Or, does your future husband or wife have a bigger bank account? If so, has a prenup been mentioned? How do you feel about that?
Maybe, neither of you are rolling in the dough right now. However, years down the line, one or both may excel in your chosen careers. Sometimes, with more money comes problems. Are you willing to accept the potential changes like no longer being seen as being good enough for your mate?
4. What Does Getting Married Mean to You?
Is it a way to absolve you from the stigma of an unplanned pregnancy before marriage? Or, do you want to feel more accepted in the business community or by your peers? Maybe, your religious beliefs demand that you heed the institution of marriage.
5. Do You Understand the Meaning of For Better or For Worse?
With the divorce rate nearly at 50%, it’s hard to believe that people know what the traditional wedding vows mean. Or, maybe they created their own vows. Either way, almost half of all marriages end in divorce. If most people took the time to think about the “for better or for worse” in the traditional vows, I’m confident they wouldn’t get married.
Just think about the horror stories about horrible unions. How many times have you heard of a spouse killing or wanting to kill the other spouse? What was the reasoning behind their thoughts or actions? Do you want to stay with someone who was mistreating, neglecting, or using you? It sounds torturous to me. I know I wouldn’t want that sort of life.
Do you think you’d be able to love your spouse if he or she became unattractive to you? Time isn’t always so kind. Would you want them to go through drastic measures mentally and physically to appease you?
What if your spouse cheated on you? Would you want to stick around? Maybe, you’re religious and feel that you’re strong enough to forgive and forget. What if they do it again? Are you still up for that humiliation? If so, more power to you. You definitely know the meaning of for better or for worse.
6. Is Having Children Important to You?
Do you like children and want to have one or some of your own? What about your significant other?
Imagine if you got married and both of you wanted children but were unable to conceive. Would you both be comfortable with other options of expanding your family like surrogacy, fertility treatments, or adoption?
Whether you want children or not, you have to have this discussion with your significant other to make sure you’re on the same page.
7. What Does Sex and Romance Mean to You?
Romance is what’s making you want to get married. Sex is the physical activity of the romance. If you’re religious, sex is reserved for after marriage and is like a package waiting to be opened.
However, if you’re not religious, you may have certain experiences and expectations of sex. Are you a sexaholic? Or, are you the reserved type? What about your significant other? Some people can change but most don’t. You have to determine what you want sexually from your relationship.
I knew this couple where the man was a player and the wife wasn’t. He cheated on her and wanted her to be more sexually adventurous. However, she was religious and didn’t want to expand her horizons with him. They stayed married for decades, and during the entire time, she complained about how he treated her. And he complained about how he didn’t feel attracted to her. Listening to both of them was exhausting. I think that they should’ve never married. Do you want a life like that or subject your friend or friends to that?
8. Does Politics Matter to You?
What do you think about politics? Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Independent? Or maybe you don’t get into politics. What about your significant other?
Politics can make or break a relationship. It’s up to the individuals who belong to it. Communication is key.
9. Do You Know Anything About Your Potential Spouse’s Past?
How well do you know your significant other? You can’t always go by what someone tells you about themselves. Also, there seems to be always something someone holds back about themselves. Plus, you have to be careful what you tell about yourself. What are you to do?
Personally, I’d get a background check. Of course, a background check doesn’t always tell the whole story. You have to be observant and listen to the words coming out of your significant other’s mouth. And sometimes you need to notice the unspoken. Actions speak louder than words.
If they have multiple ex-spouses or several children from different relationships, proceed with caution. It takes two to tango and it’s not always the other person’s fault.
10. Can You See Yourself with This Person for the Rest of Your Life?
Here’s the most important question. Can you see yourself with your significant other for the rest of your life? Imagine the potential ups and downs. True love transcends all. If you can, then go for it. If not, you know what you need to do. Nevertheless, it’s your life and your decision.